Babbling Branches

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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
wardofwinters
charlesoberonn

Phineas and Ferb episode idea: After Candace shows her photos of all of her brothers’ creations, Linda thinks that her daughter is a talented graphic artist and signs her up for a competition. Candace is frustrated and about to tell her mom the truth but then Jeremy shows up and he’s like “Wow, Candace, I didn’t know you were a graphic designer. That’s so cool. Btw, my little sister is also gonna be at the graphic design competition.”

Long story short, Candace asks her brothers to help her become a graphic artist for real so she could beat Suzie.

Meanwhile, Doofenshmirtz has gotten tired of designing -Inators so he designed the Comes-Up-With-Inators-Inator to design them for him. The Inator’s creation are a hit among other Evil Scientists who buy them in droves. Doofenshmirtz is then signed by Vanessa to an Evil Contracption Designing competition (held in the same building at the same time as the graphic design competition, of course).

Desperate, he asks Perry the Platypus to help him get his mojo back so he could design -Inators again.

Cue musical montage of Doof and Candace training to learn/relearn their respective art form.

It’s the competition(s). Candace is a nervous wreck, but Jeremy believes in her. Doof is all self-assured and ego-boosted by everyone thinking he’ll win, but then he sees his Comes-Up-With-Inators-Inator (who looks like a robotic him) also signed up for the competition.

While getting ready for the competition, Perry is accidentally almost spotted by Phineas and Ferb. He sneaks behind the curtain to the behind the scenes. That’s when he discovers that the goal of the competition is to design a doomsday weapon. Nervous, he swaps the cards with those of the graphic design competition.

The competition begins. The graphic artists are assigned to design a doomsday weapon while the Evil Scientists are assigned to design a cool band poster.

The scientists are baffled, but they do their best. The Comes-Up-With-Inators-Inator is stuck because it’s physically incapable of drawing anything but Inators.

Meanwhile in the graphic design competition Candace does her best but her brain goes blank. Suzie meanwhile is trying to sabotage her by switching her card back with the card from the other tournament. Unfortunately it’s the card of the Comes-Up-With-Inators-Inator, who now goes to task designing a Doomsday weapon.

The competition is finished. Candace’s work is mediocre, but she wins by technicality for being the only one who drew the correct thing.

Meanwhile at the Evil Scientists competition, the scientists all drew terrible posters except Doof whose poster is beautiful. He’s about to be declared the winner but then the Comes-Up-With-Inators-Inator reveals what it’s been working on, a doomsday machine. Everyone panics, and Perry the Platypus tries to stop the machine, but fails. Then the machine ticks down to 0, and nothing happens.

Turns out the Comes-Up-With-Inators-Inator is terrible at coming up with machines. All of its Inators don’t work. Which unfortunately for Doof results in all of his previously happy customers showing up to complain because their Inators didn’t work either. He asks Perry to help him again, but Perry is already gone.

“There you are, Perry.” “Curse you, Perry the Platypus!”

Despite winning, Candace feels hollow because she only won by technicality and all of the other designers were much better than her. She feels like a fraud. But then Jeremy shows up and asks to buy the rights for her poster, because he thinks it’s really cool. Candace is happy.

The End.

charlesoberonn

Jeremy: I love the exploding moon in the corner

Candace *frowning*: It’s a flower

Ferb’s Line: Maybe you did design a doomsday weapon after all

charlesoberonn

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I used to be obsessed with Phineas and Ferb.

Also I’m a good writer.

charlesoberonn

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Oh, it was.

charlesoberonn

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I would be ecstatic

charlesoberonn

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The song is a homage to 80s sports montage songs like Eye of the Tiger and You’re The Best Around. The lyrics, to contrast, are about stuff like “use a ruler and compass” and “picking the right color”.

charlesoberonn

Episode name: “It’s by Design”

Phineas and Ferb
liverbaliver
headspace-hotel

Was reading on wikipedia about how lots of ancient cultures had beliefs and traditions where you had to offer prayers and/or sacrifices if you wanted to cut down a tree because you were basically killing the spirit that lived within the tree and if you did that without good reason bad stuff would happen to you

we should bring that back. if you want to clear cut a forest you have to pray and sacrifice on behalf of every single tree

headspace-hotel

The more I learn about ecosystems, the more I realize that characterizing "animistic" belief as superstitious and primitive is one of the dumbest lies ever told

headspace-hotel

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I, as well, am an animist (knows what a soil microbiome is)

gubgam

There is air plankton. A question I had on an exam revolved around how if we sterilized the entire atmosphere, we aren’t sure if rain would still happen. So yeah, even weather kind of!

You could also say words also count as communication between different cells/microbes, and those are often biologically produced. Antibiotic compounds can also be signaling molecules. In my opinion, they have ‘spoken’ for at least 3.5 BY, since they have cooperated to make incredibly complex architecture similar to or surpassing the complexity of animal circulatory systems. These fossils are stromatolites and they exist even now.

headspace-hotel

IIRC the transpiration of water from the trees in the Amazon Rainforest is needed to create the very rain that sustains it

bogleech

Yes, people assume rainforests just grow where the climate is rainy but they just make it rainy, beginning as dry-tolerant forests but gradually terraforming the region in waves of more wet-adapted plants over thousands of years. The near daily rain over rainforest is literally the condensation of the breath of that many organisms in one place.

That means if the rainforest dies you just get desert. The tropics go away because the tropics were the plants. And we won't be able to put it back like it was just by planting seeds.

science
wardofwinters
headspace-hotel

I've been reading facts on Wikipedia again, and i'm overcome with the need to terrify non-Americans with the most underrated Terrifying American Thing: TORNADOES

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Due to a quirk of mountain and ocean placement, the east-central United States has a higher number of tornadoes (particularly exceptionally strong tornadoes) than any other place on Earth.

And they're so fucking scary oh my God

headspace-hotel

Reasons tornadoes are So Fucking Scary:

  • they can form really suddenly and move really fast, so you have like a few minutes of warning when one happens
  • their behavior is arbitrary and unpredictable. They can obliterate your house and leave your neighbor's house untouched
  • the most powerful tornadoes are so strong that it's nearly impossible to even measure them because measuring equipment is straight up obliterated in those conditions, but they've been known to exceed 480 km/h wind speeds.
  • please just read this wiki article it's the scariest fucking thing ever
  • like with F5 tornadoes you'll see a lot of stuff about trucks, SUVs, furniture, appliances from homes like refrigerators etc being "lost/missing" and you may think to yourself "how does something that large just get 'lost' surely there's a better description of what happened"
  • and well. the above article does provide the 'better' description. And it's "granulated."
  • As in, "debris from many of the obliterated homes was finely granulated."
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lavender-jedi

As a born and bred Alabamian, reading this is very funny when you're so desensitized to them that when you're woken up at 3 am by the sirens theres a very good chance you'll be like "if its my time its my time" and go right tf back to sleep

headspace-hotel

I mean I've been there but I contain multitudes okay

whereintheworldiskamalakhan

Tornados can put a 4x4 through concrete but also that siren going off right when my muffins come out of the oven is annoyingly inconvenient…

silly-jellyghoty

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dreamerinsilico

Reading this as an American who has lived in the Tornado Zone most of their life is kind of hilarious/bizarre also in the sense that I had no idea this was literally the only region in the world where they’re this common

prokopetz
prokopetz

The curse of the technical writer is looking at every advice post and immediately seeing all the ways attempting to follow it could go disastrously wrong because some seemingly obvious context or corollary has been omitted. Even the ones that don't seem to have any particular failure modes; for example, if you say "you should freeze your potatoes before frying them because it makes them crispier", but you don't explicitly qualify that you should cut them to the intended shape before freezing them? I guarantee you somebody is going to attempt to follow that advice and learn the hard way why you don't do it the other way 'round!

food
liverbaliver
tlirsgender

Weird genre of person is when fans of media with actually complex and interesting characters get scared by any level of moral ambiguity whatsoever like why are you buying purity at the nuance store

tlirsgender

Whether they're freaking the fuck out about a character having flaws or they're freaking the fuck out about someone acknowledging their fave has flaws it's like. What are you getting out of this. You're ignoring the good part because you have the understanding of right and wrong of a six year old

wardofwinters
funnytwittertweets

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drewluski

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rolling-away-from-the-sunset

This chart is amazing! Thank you so much!

cassiewolfe

Alright, farmer kid here and I want to tack on that this chart is amazing for some things, namely when things are in season in stores. It is not a be all end all if you’re growing your own produce or getting it from a local seller, such as a farmers’ market (which you should absolutely do, by the way.)

For example, it’s currently July, and we are eating both the first summer apples and the last winter apples at the same time, because they were stored properly and can make it a whole year. Grapes have been on since early June and will continue, depending on what kind you want, until around Christmas if we store them right and remove any spoiling ones.

On the other hand, I’m lowkey shocked that this chart has strawberries for nine months out of the year, because our strawberries are fragile and only show up for like. Three weeks in late June. Strawberries are one of Those fruits.

food life reference